


I Do Thee Wed, Asshole

by CaptainJimothyCarter



Series: Tumblr Prompt Fics [11]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Also i'm an immigrant so please help?, Bucky you're lucky you are cute, Clint's trans, Deaf Clint Barton, I wanna say Clint's trans boi here butttt I never offically said it, It goes without saying he's deaf too, M/M, Mature just because they're naked, Now we gotta be married cause I ain't having a divorce on my record, Or was it really an accident Clint?, Really? Did you not just see Bucky and go daaaaamn, Trans Clint Barton, Unoffically saying it tho, accidental marriage au, these two idiots, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:33:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26785195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJimothyCarter/pseuds/CaptainJimothyCarter
Summary: WinterHawk Accidental Marriage AUClint is in love with a band and has been since he's been a teenager. Though, he should especially say he's in love with one member of the band and doesn't know what to do when they wake up together in bed and the guy claims they got married last night.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Series: Tumblr Prompt Fics [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952281
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	I Do Thee Wed, Asshole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trashkingtater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashkingtater/gifts).



There was a sour taste in Clint’s mouth that he didn’t necessarily enjoy. Nor did he enjoy the blinding sun being able to _just_ peek between the beige curtains and strike him in the eyes. And honestly, he didn’t enjoy the one-fourth robotic man beside him who was snoring like a freight train either. All in all, it was a bad morning and he needed some coffee.

What in the hell happened last night?

The blonde sat up with a heavy huff, dragging the cheap motel covers with him. He could feel his skin crawling as he looked down at them, reminding himself he needed to take a fie hour shower just to feel clean again after being in these. Never watch a documentary on hotels, folks. Never.

The brunette beside him snorted and rolled over, his metal arm being thrown over Clint’s waist. The guy was pretty cute. He had dimples and freckles and a small scar under his left eye, one you couldn’t see unless you were _right_ there. That chiseled jawline and full lips really made for some passionate kissing too.

Holy fuck, did they kiss last night?

Did they _fuck?!_

Clint scrambled from the bed and nearly fell over the covers wrapping around his legs. He grunted as he stumbled back into the dusty curtains and jerked them open in his effort to stay up. The sunlight was screaming hot and bright, beaming down on his guest of honor.

“What the hell?” The brunette groaned, rubbing at his eyes and throwing a pillow over his face. “Close the damn curtains you maniac. Is this how you fucking treat your husband?”

“Husband?!” The word squeaked from Clint’s lips as he looked down at his left hand. Sure enough, a purple, metallic ring sat there. And on the man’s metallic fingers sat a red one. They were married.

“Hang on…” The man groaned as he sat up and dragged the sheet with him in his deed to close the curtains next to a frozen Clint. He didn’t even seem to mind that they were both naked. “Don’t you remember?” His fingertips trailed over Clint’s jawline, causing the blonde to both blush and shudder.

“N-no! I think I’d remember if I got married, asshole.” He slapped the hand away, causing the robotic man to pout. Damnit, he had no right to look adorable when pouting. No right. “I don’t even know your name or-or how we met. Or where are we! What happened?”

He needed some coffee. Or a drink. Both, even.

Stomping over to the bathroom counter, he was glad to see the cheaply disgusting coffee waited to be made. It smelled like crap but it was something hot and caffeinated.

“My names Bucky, for one. For two, why are you drinking out of that disgusting thing? You know they don’t clean those right?”

Clint hadn’t even considered that, but at this point he was thirsty and needed something to keep him focused. “Bucky. That’s a weird name.” He chose to ignore what the man said, setting the pot he was drinking straight out of down. “Who names their kid Bucky? Did your parents hate you or something?”

It was Bucky’s turn to make a face. He plopped down on the bed and dragged the pillow in his lap. “No, they loved me, actually. Unlike yours, _Francis.”_ Ouch. Cheap shot. A deserved shot. “Anyway, no it’s a nickname. My name is James Barnes.”

_Fuck._

James Barnes.

“As in the Winter Soldier?!”

There was the squeaky tone again.

“The one and only, baby. Well, I like to think so. There’s plenty of copy cats, but no one can do it like me.”

Clint was panicking now, running his hands over and over again through his hair. He was leaving tracks in it, not caring how he looked. His body was covered in soft bruises as if someone’s mouth had left them behind and two guesses as to who in the hell that would be. His heart was racing, jumping between his throat and stomach as the situation turned over in his head.

All the while Bucky just watched him under pretty, blue eyes. No wonder the man seemed familiar this morning. He fucked up. He really fucked up. This was bad. This was terrible. Natasha was going to _kill_ him.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Clint flinched when he said babe and Bucky pouted. “Okay, no pet names, I see. Seriously, stop pacing you’re making me antsy. Talk to me.”

“What’s wrong?! Do you really have to ask that?! I-I-I don’t even remember how we met! And you’re saying we married one another last night?! Who let’s two drunk people get married?! Do you _really_ have to ask what’s wrong when I-I married the Winter Soldier?! Do you not see the problem with that?!”

Bucky huffed and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his scarred chest. “If you’re talking about that charge in Germany, I was cleared of all charged, _thank you._ It wasn’t my fault the idiot didn’t know how to use a blow dart. Seriously, who robs someone with a blow dart?”

Standing up, he crossed over to Clint and grabbed him by the shoulders, keeping him from pacing. Clint was a good few inches taller than him, enough to cause Bucky to have to look up at him. Damn it, why did he have to look so adorable with his chin tilted up? There was that coy, little smile on his lips too. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Maybe he should call Barney but his big bro would just laugh at him when he told him, tell him his childhood dreams were coming true. And to be careful what you wish for, the bastard.

Natasha would just laugh or be jealous and she got petty when she was jealous.

_Fuck. This was bad._

“We met last night at the bar. You were pouting because of some situation about missing a concert. You looked so pathetic, like a dog left outside in the rain. I couldn’t _not_ take you elsewhere to lighten you up. You’re honestly pretty fun when you’re happy. Didn’t shut up the whole night.”

It all rushed back to Clint. He _was_ pouting last night. He had other obligations last night with Barney that ran over, causing him to miss the concert of a lifetime. He’d gone to the bar to get drunk because fuck he deserved that, even if the drinks in Las Vegas were three times as much as elsewhere. Then he’d met him. The guy had come in with a pair of leather, zipper jeans, a ripped fishnet tank top, and his hair a wild mess. There was no way Clint could miss who the fuck he was.

Until he did because he was a fucking idiot and drunk.

“Well, I got pretty shitfaced too,” Bucky continued, shaking his head. “We just started talking about our lives and how they led up to this point. One thing leads to another and now we’re married. And sorry, toots but you’re stuck with me. At least until I can legally divorce without being considered an immigrant.”

That makes sense. The man wasn’t American and the stupid laws and loopholes worked. It helped when your brother’s wife was a lawyer. He remembered being on the phone to Laura and Barney last night, but they were used to his 3 am drunken calls.

Clint groaned as he sat on the bed and covered his face, Bucky still standing above him with a more than amused look. “I still can’t believe I married _the_ Winter Soldier. You’re the lead singer in the-the Stars and Stripes band! I have a _huge_ crush on you!”

Bucky laughed, plopping down beside Clint to throw one arm over his shoulders and squeeze him to him. “Well, now you’re married to me. How’s that for an upgrade?”

**Author's Note:**

> This was something else. I loved this so much. This one is 100% inspired by my friend.


End file.
